Painfully true

Lately, in gratitude and aware of gratitude, I have been complaining and grumbling about the manna.

I wanted nothing more than to be a mama. And here I am with the gift of interminable laundry, interminable dishes, interminable teenage hunger, socks, unheeded alarms and the other interminables and I forgot:

Sacrifice.

It's good. I have. I love. I may need only pay attention.

Sacrifice.

Modeled by the Patient, Loving One.

With blood and sore feet and holes in His hands.

I can face the interminable with great joy and know that it connects me, in some small sacrifice, to eternal Love.

Sacrifice.

God's ways make me smile.

Today we had a visit from an arborist visit us.
You see, there are lots of roots running along the top of our lawn. Not pretty and not safe. My Dear figured they were from our Birch trees and found the arborist through the internet, to help us detect the problem and, perhaps, remove the trees. After walking and talking and deciding they are roots from our neighbor's yard, we had a moment where he mentioned his kids and through the conversation we stumbled into our mutual faith.

God has done this dozens of times since we moved to this old house. First the workers were from my church and the area. Then we asked a mason working down the street to give us an estimate on some concrete work. Christian. Big time believer. The kind that likes saying Jesus' name just to see what will happen next.

The electrician? Believer. His assistant? Youth pastor. It goes on and on. And it brings a smile.

I'm sure there have been people here working who aren't of faith. I guess I'm sure. But I love the idea that God knows how much I love the brothers on our land.

We were talking about cutting a little pathway from our patio to the garden when he asked, "is today the 5th?" I looked at him and before I could say no, he recited Proverbs 3:5 (March 5) "and He will make your path straight..." Ok, maybe 6, and yes, today is the 2nd. But the idea that a man, walking around my house is thinking of Proverbs based on the month and the day brings the best smile.

And a new idea to share with my people.

God brings the people I need to talk with to my home. And I smile.

Can we talk again about the Speaking God?

Our Father is so amazing. Directly into our lives (my life) He speaks. The trick is to be listening.

I just started following this sweet blog a few days ago. I checked in this morning to find words just for me, like:

each of us has a choice about how we look at life

     God wants you to be content in your circumstances

give you anxieties to God

          pray specifically

choose to be thankful

          choose to dwell on the positive

Really? This is what I find today? And yesterday God spoke directly from my Dr. Stanley One Year Life Principles Bible:

Feb. 24 readings
Psalms 27:1-3 
The LORD is my light and my salvation.
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

Proverbs 10:9
He who walks with integrity walks securely,
But he who perverts his ways will become known.

And Dr. Stanley's Life Example. Just the title pierced me:
     How Adversity Reveals Our Level of Faith
(basis: Mark 4:35-41)
When hardships come our way, do we respond, "God, I trust you to bring me through this"? Or do we tend to say, "I'm doomed, and there's nothing anybody can do?"
God once sent a storm on the Sea of Galilee to teach Jesus' disciples a lesson faith. Jesus had said to His men, "Let us cross over to the other side" and they should have taken His statement as a sure sign that He expected a safe trip. But when a terrible windstorm threatened the boat, they panicked. The terrified disciples asked Jesus, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?"


How many times have we said the same thing? "Don't you care, Lord, that this is happening to me? Don't You love me enough, Lord, to do something about this hardship?"


Jesus rebuked the wind, and immediately a great calm settle on the lake. Then He turned to His disciples and said, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?" (Mark 4:40).


God has given to each one of us a measure of faith (Rom. 12:3), and He expects us to use it to overcome our fear. Fear always accompanies adversity; in fact, a degree of fear is what makes something an adversity instead of just another experience. 

Dot. Dot. Dot.

I can see that I didn't pannick, thinking I've been abandoned. I have asked why. I ask why. But I am asking God to show me what He's doing. And He seems to be growing new me. He also seems to be showing a place of dangerous behavior. I know we're human and we're going to behave like humans.

But all too often, we behave like humans and ask God to bless us in the midst of horrible rebellion and disobedience. Gossiping is disobedience. Savoring gossip is too. So, there's more to learn. More to be revealed.

I can see also, a bit more about my question: how do I pray.

Oh! He's teaching me. I need not to fear the circumstance.

Blessed are the peacemakers

I thank God (and Ann at A Holy Experience) for the timing of Memorize the Mount.
Over and over. Over and over. I hear the words.

Blessed are the Peacemakers.

I don't even want to hear the, "because." Just the reminder. I hear it as direction from The Father. 

"Vicki, daughter, you are to be the Peacemaker."

Oddly, I finished Peacemaker training not so long ago. And now I find myself in a horrible situation.  A situation many of us have been through: transgression and gossip. 

I was the transgressor.

And now I'm the transgressor not just to the one, but to many.

Gossip.

My flesh wants to fix it. To silence the stories that simply aren't true. To stop the third and fourth parties from talking about who I am. (It's gone a bit beyond my error.)

But God is speaking. "Patience. Strength." and "Blessed are the Peacemakers."

So I wait.

And listen.

And consider.

I have thought about taking the bowl of flour to the other. Writing the words.

Dispelling the thoughts.

Making peace.

Not really so much for my sake, though I would be glad. 

But for the sake of the Body. And not the work community as a body. But for the sake of the Body of the Kingdom. 

For now, I only trust God. I have to take every thought captive. (My hurting flesh thinks too much.)

I have to be patient for more of His guidance. I have to be diligent in prayer. I am called to be the Peacemaker. Even if I never consider the rest of the passage. 

But simply, obey.

Because He has called me out of my fleshly pit and I am listening.

Pray with me?